Wanderers Cricket Club
CRICKET MEDIA BLOOPERS
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one. - Tony Greig, Channel 9

It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.- Jack Potter, 3UZ

Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary. - Jim Maxwell, ABC Radio

The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey. - Brian Johnston, BBC

I was on 99...I got really scared. I pooped my pants, missed the next ball and was bowled. -
Brad Hodge,Victorian batsman, on his dismissal in a Melbourne under-12 cricket final.

Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns cricket match into gang warfare. - Mike Brearley, 1980

Cricket is like sex films. They both relieve frustration and tension. - Linda Lovelace, star of Deep Throat

Something like "Neil Harvey at leg slip, crouches, legs apart, waiting for a tickle." BBC commentator (probably Johnners)

Brian Johnston on Dennis Lillee bowling to John Edrich after he'd hit him in the groin: "And it's Lillee to Edrich, just one ball left".

Yorkshire legend Brian Close's advice to his team as Gary Sobers came in to bat: Right lads: this guy's a left hander"

'The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast that delivery was'. Benaud

Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.- BrianJohnston, BBC Radio

If you go in with two fast bowlers and one breaks down, you're left two short.- Bob Massie, ABC Radio

It is important for Pakistan to take wickets if they are going to make big inroads into this Australian batting line-up. - Max Walker, Channel 9

It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.- Tony Benneworth, ABC Radio

On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off. - Trevor Bailey, Radio 3

John Snow hit Glen Howarth in the box with the fifth ball of an over causing some distress to the batsman and several minutes delay.
When play resumed, Johnners said ' ... and Howarth takes his guard with one ball left'.

Australian cricket commentator Alan McGilvray, once put his foot in it when he described the fate of Aussie test batsman Kim Hughes.
"It's been a weekend of delight and disappointment for Hughes," said McGilvray to millions of listeners."His wife presented him with twins yesterday...and a duck today."

Those two great cricketing stalwarts Bomber Wells and Sam Cook were batting for Gloucestershire when they made an almighty mess of going for a run. "Call, Bomber!" cried Sam. "Heads!" replied his companion.

Many forget that W.G. Grace was a respected doctor besides being a cricketing legend. One day a timid man turned up at the surgery and asked, "Is the doctor in?" "Of course he's in," snapped the assistant. "He's been batting since Monday."

Welcome to Worcester where you've just missed seeing Barry Richards hitting one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground. - Brian Johnston, BBC Radio

This game will be over any time from now.- Alan McGilvray, ABC Radio

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack. - Tim Gavel, ABC News

Laird has been brought in to stand in the corner of the circle. - Richie Benaud, Channel 9

Daddy, I want to go uckies.- Hamish Maxwell, 2, to his father Jim, ABC Radio

BBC There was a slight interruption there for athletics. - Richie Benaud,referring to a streaker at Lord's,

BBC TV It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realise that your wife left you in May. - Denis Norden,

BBC commentator on a missed chance off Australian batsman Lindsay Crapp:"It was an excellent performance in the field marred only when Harris dropped Crapp in the outfield."

The bowler (a very very slow one) bowled the first ball of the over without any spin whatsoever and the batsman stood directly in the line of the wicket and was hit on the shin pad. When the bowler appealed for lbw, the umpire decided in the batsman's favor. The bowler said
nothing until he completed the over, when the following exchange took place:
Bowler: Was the batsman in front of the wicket?
Umpire: Yes, he was.
Bowler: Did the ball hit him in the pads? Umpire: Yes, it did. Bowler: Would the ball have hit the wicket?
Umpire: Yes, it surely would. Bowler: Then why didn't you give him out?
Umpire: THAT BALL WOULDN'T HAVE KNOCKED THE BAILS OFF